Niepraschk News: Handy Man

Wesism

W: I just thought to myself "I'm going to see my self sneak up on the cat and pet her." And what do I see myself doing, NOT sneaking up on the cat and petting her. (Andy and I looked at eachother and just burst out laughing - we didn't quite get it, but it made us laugh) 2-5-12
I caught this mid-sentence W: (to my friend, Marlene) ...and he said if God could show them how to do great things, then surely He could teach Nephi how to build a boat! (es loves his scripture stories) 1-27-12
D: I have a splitting headache. W: You mean into two? 1-28-12
W: Grandma? Where are the elves? G: Well, there are some elf figurines over there. W: No, I mean the REAL elves? G: Well, they're at the North Pole getting things ready for next year's Christmas. W: But Grandma, this IS the North Pole. 12-31-11
M: I can't believe you are five. I don't want you to be five; I want you to stay my baby forever. W: But I have to be five. M: Why? W: So I can get my driver's license. 12-20-11
W: If lions are kings, then Food Lion (grocery store) must think they are the king of food. 12-18-11
W: Daddy, Nana's a ninja, which makes you a half ninja, which makes me a quarter ninja! Also, I am a punch ninja because I punch fruit into people which makes it a fruit punch. 12-7-11
M: Who brought your shoes inside? (it was St. Nicholaus Day) W: Nickle Alice. 12-7-11
M: Come on, Wes, and sit down and watch this (Christmas Devotional) with me. W: Is it General Conference. M: No, it's not General Conference, it's music and stuff. W: You're just saying that so I will watch it. 12-4-11
W: Hey, Mommy! W: Yes, Wes? W: I know a nice way to kill someone. M: Oh really? And how's that? W: You just love them to death! 12-2-11
W: (to M). Wonder Woman? M: (OK, we're playing super heros). Yes, um...Batman? W: Do you know why your name is Wonder Woman? M: No, why is that my name? W: It's because you sit around and wonder about things all day. 12-2-11
W: Blue (his toy dog) and me are done. M: Blue and I are done. W: So am I. 11-9-11
M: Wesley, you are being so good and helpful and kind today. W: That's because I'm trying to be like Jesus. 11-7-11
M: You need to do three (speech exercizes). W: How about one? M: Three. W: How about two? M: Three. W: How about four? M: Ok. Four it is. W: Actually...How about three? 10-23-11
W: Do you know what is even better than you? M: What? W: A robot that can do everything. (now I know where I stand) 10-14-11
W: (with full sincerity) There's nothing better than a piece of love for everyone; even a little, tiny kid. 10-14-11
W: (after his counting block sward broke) Awe, that sucks! M: What did you say? W: I said "that sucks. M: Wes, don't say that. W: OK. THIS sucks! 10-13-11
(Setting: Wesley in room crying at bedtime) W: Daddy! Daaaadyyy! D: (opening door) What do you want, Wesley? W: I just want that big blue ball (execise ball) out of my room *sniff* *sniff*. (Daddy walks into room, Wesley bolts! laughing all the way downstairs. Daddy got played.) 10-12-11
(Wesley playing with Floppy, his stuffed frog.) W: You are going to time-out. F: What is time-out? W: It's like when you go to jail when you did something bad. F: Oh, I don't like jail. It's too boring. W: Well, maybe this will be boring enough for you to think! F: How long will it last? W: Like.....forever! 10-11-11
W: I just had a great idea. (then in whispered tones) I thought it up in my head. 10-9-11
M: Oh! Brain freeze! W: Well, I'm having a body freeze! 10-8-11
W: (completely out of the blue) Mom, do you know what Mom's love? M: What? W: The Gyrobowl because it's dishwasher safe! (kid's got a memory like nothin' else) 9-27-11
W: (after seeing an ambulance headed to the hospital) Oh, no. M: What? W: Someone probably put a pin in their hiney or something. 9-12-11
W: (after a huge, sudden boom of thunder) WOW! That sounded like a giant stomping his foot. 9-8-11
W: That was harder than I thought. In fact, it was much harder than I thought. (opening a yogurt) 9-1-11
W: Mom, I missed you so much. You were laying so still, I thought you were dead. 8-5-11
(Wesley had a band-aid above each eyebrow) M: Why do you have band-aids on your forehead? W: Because I'm afraid blood will come out. My brain hurts. (guess he had a headache) 8-5-11
W: (after wemi-wiping off a kiss from Andy) I'll keep half the kiss on this time. 8-1-11
W: His [Madsen's] nose is only one finger nail and then it stops. 7-29-11
W: Halle-Utah! (interpretation: hallelujah) 7-21-11
Warning: It's gross. (While walking to the bathroom in Lowes) W: Oh, great! D: What? W: I just dropped a turd. 7-15-11
W: (with a real quizzical look) Whatdoyousay? (It really sounds like one long word) 7-11
TV: Don't go away, Sprout will be right back. (I get up to leave) W: Wait! It said, "Don't go away!" 7-1-11
W: (Big Sigh) I talked so much I lost my breath! 6-9-11
W: No I amn't. (a made up contraction of "am not") 6-5-11
Conversation between Merideth Davis and Wesley: Mer: Are you excited about having a baby brother? W: Yes, it means I am not getting a baby sister! 5-13-11
W: Daddy and I planted popcorn seeds in the garden! M: You did? Do you think something will grow. W: Yes, I know a popcorn tree will grow. 5-2-11
D: Buddy, you need to eat your dinner so you can grow. W: Eating doesn't make you grow, birthdays make you grow. 4-18-11
M: Oohh, ouch! W: It's okay, Mom, you'll live. 3-17-11
M: What were you doing downstairs? W: Well, I was just eating yogurt and a cookie. I didn't want you to see me eating the cookie, so I hid behind the dishwasher. (at least he's honest) 3-15-11
W: My "Treat Teacher" taught Sunbeams, Sunday. M: (not sure who "Treat Teacher" is) What is her name? W: I don't know. M: What did she look like? W: Um...a beautiful flower garden. (Then it clicks - his Sunbeam teacher was wearing a red, floral dress that day.) 3-14-11
M: Wesley, you have such good manners. Who taught you such good manners? W: No one. I just lost my bad manners. 3-3-11
M: Wow, Wes, thanks so much for washing the dishes. W: Your welcome. Now you will never have to do dishes again. 3-3-11
M: Wes, why are you kicking my feet? W: Because my shoes love your shoes. 2-15-11
W: Dad, 4-years ago I was 0-years old, right? D: Yeah. W: And 3-years ago I was 1-year old, right? D: Yeah. So how old were you 2-years ago? W: Um, I don't know? D: Well, you figured out how old you were 3 years ago. How did you do that? W: I'm pretty awesome at smart stuff. D: That's right, you are. So, use those same smarts to figure out how old you were 2-years ago. W: I can't. D: Why? W: Because, I hid my smarts and I don't know where I hid them. 2-11-11
W:Do you know that I like steak? M: You do? W: What's steak? Is it like bacon? M: No. Bacon comes from a pig and steak comes from a cow. W: What!? Then it will taste like milk! 2-4-11
W: That's UN-impossible!!! (any given day) 1-11
W: (holding up all his fingers) Do you know how many there are? M: Umm, 20? W: No, there are 10. M: Oh, you are so smart. W: Yes, I am. You were just being silly. You are not smart at all. 1-17-11
W: Hey, Mom. M: Yes, Wes? W: I'm God's kid! 1-14-11

Niepraschk News

Monday, December 19, 2011

Handy Man

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